Exhibit A

There is no doubt that my Monty has a complete and in-depth understanding of the human psyche and has figured out my husband and I now to the core. Fundamentally he's worked out that I'm the weak one who will cave under the smallest tilt of his head and give him the biscuit. He is only a year old and up to now has been 'talking back' and when called after walking, only runs back to the general vicinity so he can continue to squirt out of our grasp after every futile lunge (can look very stupid but again, after a mere few months of beagle ownership, any self-consciousness in public places evaporates and gives way to PDFs: Public Displays of Frustration').

These I assumed, having a realistic knowledge of the 'traits' of the breed, were normal characteristics. I also thought (possible controversy here!) that beagles aren't the most intelligent breed around. I was wrong. Monty has single-pawedly managed to manipulate both of us. The evidence is still in its infancy and I will continue to document it as it unfolds on here when possible.

To start: Exhibit A: the first months of having Monty was a period of deciding that beagles are not allowed on any human seating surfaces. Absolutely not. Must stay consistent and persistent on this...boundaries. He has however managed to progressively break every little boundary to the point where we were cornered into the absolute, resolute, final decision that ok, sofas are ok, seats are ok, er alright upstairs is ok, really? The same seat as me while I'm on it? Ok... but the BED? No way! That is a definite beagle- free zone.

As I type, the beeg is snuggled up (with what I think is a wry smile around his lips) atop our one sanctuary, that bed, and in that obliterates any sense of boundaries we thought we could adhere to. To make matters worse, his innate sense has told him that the best place, the holy grail of cosiness, the ultimate coup of comfort would be...to get under the duvet! I know he's been planning his mode of attack for some time. I could see it in his misleadingly blank expression. The minute hubby was out the bed and off to shower, the beagle launched his first assault having diagnosed my breaking point when it comes to him as that of a wet Kit Kat. Daddy was out the way. He leapt onto the bed and engaged in what can only be likened to a couple of stags fighting in headlock. He very literally tried to head butt me out of the way to get to the cocoon of quilty goodness. He failed on this attempt. But he didn't like it and grumbled out the room.

I know he's waiting to launch a second wave. Even now I know he's not really sleeping. He's planning. Beagles can manipulate. Be careful.